I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
