he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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