super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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