whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
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Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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