i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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