Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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