Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
