if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
