5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
