Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This girl is more easily done than said...
my being single is dangerous.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
