Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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