If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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