oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Found your dick twin last night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
