I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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