i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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