turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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