before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
