Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
