he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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