zippers are such a cool invention
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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