I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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