Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
