matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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