i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize