love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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