Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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