i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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