the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
