she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
