it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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