garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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