a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
