And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Your cock deserves a montage
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
