1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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