i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
