How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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