he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
