You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
sex in a hospital.. check
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
