You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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