about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
vagina is talking i cant
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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