Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
