He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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