I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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