dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
