if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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