i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize