I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize