You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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