I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
