can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
