Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize