using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
