I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
where are you?
Hypothermia
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
