He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
