margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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