Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
