Porn is love you can see.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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