He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
