I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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