I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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