Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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