??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
