Tell her she can't have a vagina
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
how drunk are you?
Several
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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