Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
false alarm, still single
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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