seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize