did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
