How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
