I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
